Soul Searching

All is well in the world of Vicki. I have recently taken a liking to Facebook. If any of you guys are on there, look me up, should be able to put Vicki Collier in the search box. Besides being a Mom which is like a full time job, I am fairly busy. I hope to visit Georgia soon. My little brother is having a baby so Alanna will soon have a new cousin to play with. I am trying to get this house clean so that we can treat it for fleas. The bugs seem so much worse in Mississippi. Anyway, I better get off this computer and go to bed so I can get enough sleep before Alanna wakes up.

Current Location: Home
Current Mood: contemplative

Wow, the last six months have flown by. Baby Alanna is doing great, smiling, laughing, and lighting up my life. Check her out on youtube, just do a search for angelicmusick which is my username.

My husband has Crohn's disease which has been very hard. Now I know why most wedding vows say "In sickness and in health". It has been active for over 3 and a half years. This past Saturday he had a seizure, I have never been so afraid. He stopped breathing and I thought he was going to die. I called 911 and the ER doctors were great and think it was one of his medications that caused it. He is better now, but I am still experiencing a lot of fear.

I used to only fall in love with assholes- but this time I found a good, sweet man who treats me right and loves me for me. He is a wonderful father and works so hard. He has an awful, incurable disease but it can go into remission. It will go into remission.

I have not been as spiritual as I used to be, but I still believe that our thoughts and "energy" can have an effect on the world and eachother. I guess I am asking for help. If you pray, please pray for us. If not, send good thoughts and "energy" our way. Do a ritual, light a candle, whatever it is that you do to make a positive change, please do it.

Ok, I have cut my blogs down from 4 to 2, unless you count 43 things as a blog and that would make 3. I wish I did not have to make everything in life so damn complicated. This and livejournal will be my main blogs- so if you are on myspace- my username is angellynncollier.

Unfortunately I did not make it back to Atlanta because of my hip and some sciatic nearve pain from long drives. On top of that, gas prices suck.

My third trimester has been amazing. I so enjoy being pregnant. She turns and hiccups and moves from side to side and I can see her movements like there is an alien inside me. I am going to birth classes once a week and learning a lot. I'm not as afraid of giving birth because it was mostly fear of the unknown that was bugging me. Now that I know more, I am less afraid.

I just celebrated three years of being a "good girl". I say this not to brag but because it is a huge landmark for me. My brain chemistry is hopefully healing and I feel ready to take on the huge responsibility of raising this little miracle that is growing inside of me. I think clearly but still have lots of brain farts- although one of my friends said that hormones could be effecting my mind.

Alan and I celebrated three years being married as well. I have now been with him longer than with anyone, and even though we get on eachother's nerves from time to time, we get along remarkably well. Anyway, 25 more days (or less) and I will have a little baby!

Today is the first day of my second trimester. I will not miss the morning sickness at all! I have been getting many headaches, though. It is weird being pregnant. Its odd knowing that this baby is growing inside of me. I think he is a boy, but I don't find out for sure for another month or so.

I am playing at Eddie's Attic again on July 2nd at 8:30. Most of my LJ friends are in Atlanta and I would LOVE for yall to come down to see me play.

We moved into a house in North Biloxi. It is old but wonderful. Alan had surgery and it went well, I am still working as a pizza delivery driver. I am still clean and working on remaining serene.

http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/commentary/sexdrive/2007/04/sexdrive_0406/

Spring is my new favorite season. I have a new hobby- growing plants from seed. I grew some lavender last year but the flowers are not purple- they have been white, then red, then pink. I wonder if they are working their way up to purple. Anyway, this year I have grown various flowers, catnip, and peppers.

My cats love spring. They have become used to going outside. Two of my cats hunt while the other two breath in the fresh air, watch the seagulls and roll around in the grass. Unfortunately the neighbors are more dog lovers than cat lovers. They are also kinda snobby because this is an upscale neighborhood. They pointed out that in the lease all pets are to be kept on a leash or kept inside. The management has been threatening to call animal control. The thing that pisses me off is that we would have never moved in here if we had known. We asked the woman who approved our application if we could let our cats outside and she said that we could. I talked with the manager the other day and asked if we could get out of the lease without penalty and move, and she said that we could. I also wanted to build them a kitty playground-

http://www.abcbirds.org/cats/CatTrails.pdf

but all apartments must be uniform and "If one tenent builds one, then everyone will want to build one". So I guess we are house hunting again. Rental houses on the coast in decent neighborhoods are 1200 a month minimum and even though Alan and I both have jobs, I fear that we will struggle financially if we pay that much rent a month.

Also, there is storm damage I did not notice until a few months after moving in- instead of replacing the sheet rock, they patched it and the patch was coming off revealing small holes. One day a bunch of termites swarmed into the apartment. It freaked me out so badly that I taped the holes and took it as another sign that this is not where I am supposed to be.

Besides all that drama, life is really good. Still workin', making meetings and doing my best to live a spiritual life. I am not on the computer as much because our good computer crashed and this one works, but is very slow. I miss my old friends from Atlanta but feel like we still have this connection- not just the internet, but a spiritual connection that knows no space and time.