|Nov. 24th, 2014 11:29 pm Funny lines|
http://www.onelinerz.net/top-100-funny-one-liners/Leave a comment
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research
God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.
I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Life's a bitch, 'cause if it was a slut, it'd be easy.
Deja Vu - When you think you're doing something you've done before, it's because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends.
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
Progress is made by lazy men looking for an easier way to do things.
Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
I'm a humble person, really. I'm actually much greater than I think I am.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
|Nov. 24th, 2014 11:25 pm Favorite quotes|
Use what talents you possess, the woods will be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best. Henry van DykeLeave a comment
To will is to select a goal, determine a course of action that will bring one to that goal, and then hold to that action till the goal is reached. The key is action. Michael Hanson
Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential. Sir Winston Churchill
Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did.Newt Gingrich
In most domains, talent is overrated compared to determination — partly because it makes a better story, partly because it gives ++onlookers an excuse for being lazy, and partly because after a while determination starts to look like talent. Paul Graham
""Anyone who says love is free has never truly been in love. Your lover will need comfort. Your spouse will have bad days. Your child will have their heart broken, more than once and you will be expected to help pick up the pieces. Your beloved pets become a parade of joy and loss. Love costs, sometimes it costs everything you have, and sometimes it costs more. On those days you weigh the joy you gain against the pain; you weigh the energy given from the loving and the energy lost from the duties that love places upon us. Love can be the most expensive thing in the world. If it's worth it, great, but if not, then love does not conquer all, sometimes you are conquered by it. You are laid waste before the breathtaking pain of it, and crushed under the weight of it's obligations."
|May. 22nd, 2010 02:51 am Spring Cleaning|
I am spring cleaning my website, attempting to throw away redundant links as well as links to sites I dont use anymore. Thats when I foung LJ and considered dumping it too. I've been using facebook for my writing and keep it short and sweet. Now I want to write more. I want to go on comical rants. I want to get deep and magickal with my writing without my family trying to do an excorsism on me. I want to talk about TMI stuff like poop, mucus, sex...oh but not at the same time.I used to be good at this shit but I'm out of practice. Well, that was a little practice.
Current Mood: contemplativeLeave a comment
|Feb. 2nd, 2010 09:26 am How to unpack|Leave a comment
" It was unpacking in between long periods of not unpacking."
How I did it: Procrastinated. I wanted to throw all the boxes int a thrift store, thinkin "It's just stuff, who needs it." But I worried about throwing out pictures and things that cant be replaced.
It took me 200 days.
It made me So much Stuff!
|Aug. 31st, 2009 05:19 pm How to write a song for my baby|Leave a comment
"It took a while for me to get the words and music from inside my head to on the paper."
How I did it: I just started singing one day, mostly the melody with no words. Then I finally started writing the piano part and recorded it so I would not forget it. I had written a poem a few months before and put that poem to the music but changed a few words around. The most important thing was for me to make time for practice.
Lessons & tips: Just do it!
It took me 4 months.
It made me Very happy
|Aug. 18th, 2009 07:19 am How to go hiking|Leave a comment
How I did it: I have an old friend that has been caving for years and told me all about it. I was a little hesitant because I am so out of shape after having my baby. I was so suprised that I liked it as much as I did. It is so hard to describe. The two mile hike to the cave was difficult because it was the hottest part of the day. As soon as we approached the cave we felt a burst of cold air like there was an air conditioner built into the mountain. Inside there were bats, stalagtites and stalagmites, little streams of water, mud, silver looking moisture drops all over the cieling- all was strangly beautiful. After the ceiling got too low to walk upright we had to crawl for a while and I used muscles I did'nt know I had. I stepped in a thick mudpuddle and my boots became so heavy. The discomfort of it all was overwhelming, but so worth it. It was so weird finally going from inside the cave to the outer world; like the whole experience was a dream and I was waking up but wishing I could go back to sleep to find out where the dream would lead me. There is something surreal about being surrounded by so much stone and earth. I felt safe and in danger at the same time. It was the most interesting full body workout I have ever had. The two mile hike back was a relief because I was so exhasted. I still wished I had the energy to do it again.
It took me 1 day.
It made me proud
|May. 21st, 2009 03:57 am|
All is well in the world of Vicki. I have recently taken a liking to Facebook. If any of you guys are on there, look me up, should be able to put Vicki Collier in the search box. Besides being a Mom which is like a full time job, I am fairly busy. I hope to visit Georgia soon. My little brother is having a baby so Alanna will soon have a new cousin to play with. I am trying to get this house clean so that we can treat it for fleas. The bugs seem so much worse in Mississippi. Anyway, I better get off this computer and go to bed so I can get enough sleep before Alanna wakes up.
Current Location: HomeLeave a comment
Current Mood: contemplative
|Dec. 29th, 2008 03:28 pm In sickness and in health|
Wow, the last six months have flown by. Baby Alanna is doing great, smiling, laughing, and lighting up my life. Check her out on youtube, just do a search for angelicmusick which is my username. 1 comment - Leave a comment
My husband has Crohn's disease which has been very hard. Now I know why most wedding vows say "In sickness and in health". It has been active for over 3 and a half years. This past Saturday he had a seizure, I have never been so afraid. He stopped breathing and I thought he was going to die. I called 911 and the ER doctors were great and think it was one of his medications that caused it. He is better now, but I am still experiencing a lot of fear.
I used to only fall in love with assholes- but this time I found a good, sweet man who treats me right and loves me for me. He is a wonderful father and works so hard. He has an awful, incurable disease but it can go into remission. It will go into remission.
I have not been as spiritual as I used to be, but I still believe that our thoughts and "energy" can have an effect on the world and eachother. I guess I am asking for help. If you pray, please pray for us. If not, send good thoughts and "energy" our way. Do a ritual, light a candle, whatever it is that you do to make a positive change, please do it.
|Jul. 20th, 2008 09:57 pm I found a temporary cure for PMS|5 comments - Leave a comment
It is called pregnancy! The hormones were still there, and worse in many ways. I am already an emotional person but I have never been this emotional about the positive things before. I had a very happy pregnancy and cried more out of happiness than ever before.
My birth experience was very, VERY painful and difficult. Thirty hours in labor but the end result was this beautiful baby girl. She was born on July 6th at 5:47pm (Her birth chart is great!) We have been very happy, busy and tired for the past two weeks. I have been awfufl about answering the phone and email but hope you all stay patient with me.
|Jun. 17th, 2008 04:47 pm Third trimester|
Ok, I have cut my blogs down from 4 to 2, unless you count 43 things as a blog and that would make 3. I wish I did not have to make everything in life so damn complicated. This and livejournal will be my main blogs- so if you are on myspace- my username is angellynncollier.2 comments - Leave a comment
Unfortunately I did not make it back to Atlanta because of my hip and some sciatic nearve pain from long drives. On top of that, gas prices suck.
My third trimester has been amazing. I so enjoy being pregnant. She turns and hiccups and moves from side to side and I can see her movements like there is an alien inside me. I am going to birth classes once a week and learning a lot. I'm not as afraid of giving birth because it was mostly fear of the unknown that was bugging me. Now that I know more, I am less afraid.
I just celebrated three years of being a "good girl". I say this not to brag but because it is a huge landmark for me. My brain chemistry is hopefully healing and I feel ready to take on the huge responsibility of raising this little miracle that is growing inside of me. I think clearly but still have lots of brain farts- although one of my friends said that hormones could be effecting my mind.
Alan and I celebrated three years being married as well. I have now been with him longer than with anyone, and even though we get on eachother's nerves from time to time, we get along remarkably well. Anyway, 25 more days (or less) and I will have a little baby!
|Jan. 11th, 2008 05:43 pm Second trimester|
Today is the first day of my second trimester. I will not miss the morning sickness at all! I have been getting many headaches, though. It is weird being pregnant. Its odd knowing that this baby is growing inside of me. I think he is a boy, but I don't find out for sure for another month or so.Leave a comment
|Dec. 9th, 2007 08:39 am We are having a baby!|1 comment - Leave a comment
We did it! I am due July 11th 2008.
|Aug. 9th, 2007 10:06 pm Open-minded|
1 comment - Leave a comment
|You Are 92% Open Minded|
You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out!
Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand.
You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting.
You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.
|Jul. 28th, 2007 02:24 pm This made my day...|Leave a comment
I only work a few days a week now. I am blessed with a fun, perverted, lively group of co-workers that make delivering pizza SO much more fun. One guy is in love with his truck. He is the kind of guy you see washing the windows in the hot sun on a saturday and then detailing it on sunday. He is always talking about how fast it can go. He has a really great, sarcatic sense of humor which is part of the reason I picked him to be the victom of this joke.
I wrote a note and put it under the windshield wiper that said the following:
“I am very sorry for accidentally hitting your truck. My Insurance company will pay for the damage. Please call 806-6208 for my information.”
He examined his truck for 10 minutes and could not find any damage, then called my number and heard me laughing on the other end. The look on his face was priceless.
|Jul. 25th, 2007 01:59 pm Impermanence|Leave a comment
I don’t write songs very often but this song was meant to be. My mentor wrote the lyrics and asked me to put them to music(k). I had to simplify the piano part in order to get it performable this soon; but i think it turned out great.
Here is the link…
|May. 16th, 2007 12:05 pm sensitive?|
Leave a comment
|Your Sensitivity Score: 83%|
You are an extremely sensitive person. You notice everything.
You've probably been called overly sensitive before, and it's partially true.
Highly sensitive people tend to be highly intelligent. And you just can't turn off that part of you.
|May. 12th, 2007 09:43 pm DefinedLeave a comment|
|May. 11th, 2007 02:15 pm Open Mic Night|
I am playing at Eddie's Attic again on July 2nd at 8:30. Most of my LJ friends are in Atlanta and I would LOVE for yall to come down to see me play.1 comment - Leave a comment
We moved into a house in North Biloxi. It is old but wonderful. Alan had surgery and it went well, I am still working as a pizza delivery driver. I am still clean and working on remaining serene.
|Apr. 25th, 2007 01:45 am Wisdom teeth|Leave a comment
I got the two wisdom teeth out on my left side a few months ago and had the other two extracted last week. It hurt really bad for a few days but it was SO worth it.
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